Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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