I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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