i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
