I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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