I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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