Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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