Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
