how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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