Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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