I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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