Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
