My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize