Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize