So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize