he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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