So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
