Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
