The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Send help, water and tortillas.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
