the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Every concussion has its silver lining
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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