I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
