I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
