remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
