My first STD was from a foam party
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
