Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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