K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
