come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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