I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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