Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
