y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
