see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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