I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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