I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i need some magic done to my vagina
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
