Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
