So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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