we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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