I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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