If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
