I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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