did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need to sanitize my soul.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.