I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.