what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.