Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person