I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
