i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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