Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
