absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
