Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize