Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
