ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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