i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
