We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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