I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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