u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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