After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
