anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
