ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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