she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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