i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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