Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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