I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
