So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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