so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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