I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
