stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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