Just fell off a train. Bad.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we're making bets on your personal life
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize