Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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