final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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