Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
