I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
